Tenants complaining all of the time
Tenants contacting Council's Environmental Health Department re: damp (condensation!)
Lots of text messages with appalling grammar
Section 21 not possible because paperwork shoddy and Deposit protection non-existent.
Landlord speaks to brother in law who has a mate, Artie, who is able to sort the situation once and for all.
As a mate, Artie will do the job for a quid.
Artie gets information and confirms that the 3 tenants go shopping Friday afternoon at 3.00 pm in the local Aldi store.
Now Artie has to decide the best way to do the dirty deed. He figures shooting is too risky because of the noise, and stabbing problematic because of the blood spurting over the deli. He decides on strangulation.
Friday comes and, true to his word and professionalism, Artie sorts the problem.
Headline next day . . .
Artie chokes 3 for a pound in Aldi
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